PARENTS’ CHARACTER and CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOR

     The personality of a child is colored by the emotional atmosphere of his home. This truth seems self-evident, yet it is only recently that we have come to  recognize the relation between a parent’s character and  a child’s conduct. Some parental practices are overt and obvious ; they can be observed and their influence identified. Other practices are more covert and subtle: they can only be inferred and their impact hypothesized.

     Any list of undesirable attitudes and characterestics will include those of parents who are overemotional, overprotective, childish, alcoholic, seductive, rejecting, or overconscientious.

ABOUT SEX EDUCATION

     Many parents think that sex education is a conversation. Sex education starts with the parents’ attitudes toward their own sensuality. Do they like the sights and smells and feel of their bodies, or do they think that there is something uncouth and unesthetic about them? Do they delight in each other’s naked presence, or dot they close their eyes and clothe their bodies in shame? Do they have any special aversions to their own or the partner’s sex, or do they apprecitae it? Do they see each other as inconsiderate and exploitive, or as exciting initiators of shared pleasure?

    Whatever the parent’s unspoken feelings are, they will be conveyed to the children, even if their spoken words tell about birds, bees, and daffodils. This is the reason why it is so difficult to tell parents precisely what to reply to a child’s questions about sex. Their own bewilderment in this area must first be known and their worries and embarrassment modified.

THE IMPORTANT ROLE OF MONEY IN FAMILY LIVES…

Money is a very important thing to have in family life. There are those out there who are in denial that money is one of the more important things in the world…..

The role of money in our lives is the lubrication that we all slide between each other on. Without money we cannot have food, clothing, shelter or comfort in any reasonable capacity.

The benefits of money are (of course) the ease of mind that we will have electricity, water, cable tv, food, clothing and recreational activities and other items that make us happy.

The negative aspect of money is that we waste too much of it. Hollywood celebrities get paid absolutely ridiculous amounts of money and this is absurd because we have hardworking Americans that are practically starving and being crushed under the debt of medical bills and other various mistakes they may have made.

Money corrupts people and money ruins people. Money also makes people.

 The role of money in our lives is what we make it and the benefits are what we make benefit us, as well as the negatives being what we choose as negative and affects us as well.

BEING A GOOD PARENT …

In this busy world that we live in, it is sometimes hard for us to give our children the time that we had with our parents; However you must make time for your child because the time that you both spend together creates positive memories that will last a lifetime. That is a very important step to being a good parent.

Being patient with your child may be hard at times mostly when they are not being nice at that moment. Parents develop patience by not blowing up at every negative behavior that their children do. When you as a parent demonstrate patience, your child will copy you.

Love is the magic key to developing a child with a sense of belonging. If a parent have nothing at all in life but love to give their children those children are rich. Tell and show your child how much you love them with lots of hugs and kisses

Be creative with your child, make-up games and songs with them, that is the things that they think about as adults. Go outdoors and do fun activities together, you do not have to spend a lot of money to have fun.

WHY DO CHILDREN LIE ?

     Sometimes they lie because they are not allowed to tell the truth. When a child tells his mother that he hates his brother, she may spank him for tellng the truth. If he turns around then and there and declares the obvious lie that he now loves his brother, mother may reward him with a hug and a kiss. What is the child to conclude from such an experience? He may conclude that truth hurts, that dishonesty rewards, and that mother loves little liars.

     If we want to teach honesty, then we must be prepared to listen to bitter truths as well as to pleasant truths. If a child is to grow up honest, he must not be encouraged to lie about his feelings, be they positive, negative, or ambivalent. It is from our reactions to his expressed feelings that the child learns whether or not honesty is the best policy.

     When punished for truth, children lie in self-defense. They also lie to give themselves in fantasy what they lack in reality. Lies tell truths about fears and hopes. They reveal what one would like to be or to do. To a discerning ear, lies reveal what they intend to conceal. A mature reactions to a lie should reflect understanding of its meaning, rather than denial.

     Parents should not ask questions that are likely to cause defensive lying. Children resent being interrogated by a parent, especially when they suspect that the answers are already known. They hate questions that force them to choose between an awkward lie or an embarrasing confession.

Tags: children, lie

RESPONSIBILITY, CHORES AND VALUES IN CHILDREN….

     While we wish our children to be responsible persons, we want their responsibility to spring from ultimate values, among which are reverence for life and concerns for human welfare. In more familiar words, responsibility must be based on respect for life, liberty, and the pursuit of hapiness. We do not usually consider the problem of responsibility, or the lack of it, in much more concrete terms: in our child’s messy room,sloppy homework, tardy school attendance,sulky disobediance, or bad manners.

     Thus, the problem of responsibility in children is referred back to the parent, or more precisely to the parent’s values as expressed in his child-rearing practices. Responsibility in children starts with the parent’s attitude and skills. The attitudes include a willingness to allow children to feel all their feelings; the skills include an ability to demonstrate to children acceptable ways of coping with feelings.

     The difficulties entailed in meeting these two requirements are most formidable. Our own parents and teachers have not adequately prepared us for dealing with emotions. They themselves did not know how to cope with strong feelings. When confronted with turbulent emotions in children, they tried to deny,suppress or prettify them.

Tags: Add new tag, responsibility, values

SOME THINGS I FOUND ABOUT WHAT LOVE IS…

Passionate love which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.
Compassionate love is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.

The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:

Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.

Passion is what makes you feel “in love” and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.

HOW CAN I KNOW GOD’S WILL FOR MY LIFE ?

Answer: There are two keys for knowing God’s will for a given situation (1) Make sure what you are asking for or considering doing is not something the Bible forbids. (2) Make sure what you are asking for or are considering doing will glorify God and help you grow spiritually. If these two things are true and God still is not giving you what you are asking – then it is likely not God’s will for you to have what you are asking for. Or, perhaps you just need to wait a while longer for it. Knowing God’s will is sometimes difficult. People want God to basically tell them what to do – where to work, where to live, who to marry, etc. Romans 12:2 tells us, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

God rarely gives people that direct and specific of information. God allows us to make choices regarding those things. The only decision God does not want us to make is the decision to sin or resist His will. God wants us to make choices that are in agreement with His will. So, how do you know what God’s will is for you? If you are walking closely with the Lord and truly desiring His will for your life – God will place His desires on your heart. The key is wanting God’s will, not your own. “Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). If the Bible does not speak against it, and it can genuinely benefit you spiritually - then the Bible gives you the “permission” to make decisions and to follow your heart.

WHAT IS FAIR ALLOWANCE ?

     There is no difinite answer to this questions. The allowance should fit our budjet. Regardless of neighborhood standards, we should not be pushed into allowing more than we can afford comfortably. If the child protests, we can tell him sincerely, ” We wish we could give you a larger allowance but our budget is limited.” This is a better approach than trying to convince the child that he does not really need more money.

     In a modern home, spending money-like food and chlothes- is given to a child as a matter of course, because he is a member of the family. An allowance is not a reward for good behavior nor a payment for chores. It is an eduacational device that has a distinct purpose : to provide experience in the use of money by exercising choices and assuming responsibilities.

     Money like power, can be easily mishandled by the inexperienced. An allowance should not be greater than the child’s capacity to manage it. It is better to start with a small allowance, which can be adjusted from time to time, than to overburden the child with too much money. The allowance might be started when the child begins attending school and has learned to count money and make change. But one condition is essential to an allowance : the small sum of money left after the fixed expenditures should be the child’s own to save or to splurge.

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